I’ve been listless. Stagnant. Borderline apathetic.
Okay, over the border and into despondency.
These mood shifts happen without warning. No subtle clues or clever hints.
Nothing to indicate the sinkhole is just a few steps or days ahead.
And I’m always unprepared.
No emergency flare. No tide-me-over rations. No escape.
Just a sadness and a lethargy that compress the lungs and severs the senses.
After a few weeks, I must miss myself. Because I finally remember to blink.
Life flickers. My walls begin to lose opacity.
Yet I hesitate.
Here, I taste sorrow and lament time. I weep for nothing and for it all.
But it’s familiar.
Out there. Out there it’s over-bright, brazen. Leaden with choices, decisions…repercussions.
But it’s already too late.
My mind is moving toward saturated delights and shadowy peril.
I taste a smile, tinny with a dash of bafflement.
This is where I want to be!
So, I will remember to sidestep fissures and maintain a vigilant mantra.
I will remember to walk with purpose, taste with pleasure and embrace change.
I will not forget again.
Until I do.